One more beautiful lie
by Tuliharja
Summary: AU. Doing the right thing is hard, especially if it feels just wrong. One-shot. R&R!


Title: _One more beautiful lie_

Author: _Tuliharja_

Summary: _Doing the right thing is hard, especially if it feels just wrong. One-shot._

Disclaimer: _Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I'm merely writing fan fiction about it. I don't either own the cover art of this._

Author's note: _Thank you Des for betaing this!_

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**-One more beautiful lie-**

Tobirama knows he is a coward, but he also knows this is the only option. This is all for the best, he tells himself, as he places the tea set into the moving box. Yet he still feels extremely guilty. A feeling he never thought he would feel. It isn't because of the tea set - after all, he bought it - but the fact that he is moving his life away from Madara's.

Yes, he is breaking them up. He is ending years of tears, laughter and so many passionate moments. But he knows he has to. It has to end, or one of them is going to die.

But it doesn't wipe away the guilt as he moves to the silverware. His sharp eyes scan over those, trying to decide what to pick and what to leave. Yet he realizes he doesn't have time for that. He has to hurry, before Madara comes home. He has to hurry if he wants to leave without facing Madara. The sweet, passionate and so addictive Madara. He is like drug which has, over the years, messed Tobirama up terribly. Their love has been like fireworks: so bright, sparkling and brilliant. But at the same time devastating and horrible like a fire that eats everything in its way.

Tobirama stops for a framed photo, before taking it with himself. He has to erase himself from Madara's life, for their both sakes. That is the only way to ensure neither of them will give in to the temptation, because it's there. It's _always_ there. It's in their pits of stomachs, burning and waiting to be unleashed. At times when it gets out, it's powerful and so beautiful. It's like a panther, exotic and strong, but just as deadly. Every passionate relationship has two sides, only one of which most people see. They only see the love and passion, not the exhausting arguments, not the shouting and screaming. Not the tears. Not all those ugly things that wear everybody down, but mostly the couple itself.

Some people do see it, Tobirama knows that, otherwise he wouldn't have a helper to pack up his things. Silently, he glances at his companion who has been quiet, except when asking if Tobirama wants this or that item to be packed. He feels bad for the young man. He knows there will be hell when Madara learns Kakashi has helped him to pack. He also knows Kakashi's boyfriend, Uchiha Obito, will more than likely curse him for breaking his uncle's heart. But he also knows Kakashi understands and that he is strong. Kakashi knows why Tobirama is doing what he is doing. He might not agree fully with Tobirama's decision, but he understands. That's already a lot more than what his main family could do for him.

The thought of his main family makes Tobirama flinch and stop. Kakashi stops too, giving him a look. It's obvious he is checking if Tobirama is about to chicken out. Tobirama can't blame him - he has already done this same thing in past a few times and each time he has backed down, ashamed and horrified. Who he is to decide his and Madara's relationship is already so doomed it cannot be fixed? But he knows it's like that. He knows, yet he has still been hoping he would be wrong. How freeing it would be if he was wrong and there was still hope to them. Because despite everything, despite all the bad and ugly things, he loves Uchiha Madara.

A soft sound that seems like a sob wakes him up from his thoughts. He glances at Kakashi, only to notice he is still packing quietly like a ghost. He realizes that sound just came from his mouth. It shocks him. He never knew he could let out such a pathetic sound. But that's a lie. He has let out such a noise before. Last time when he was packing and thinking about running away. Or before that when he had left the house after an argument. It had been one of those nastier ones. It hadn't just been verbal one, but there had been fists flying. Madara might be older now than back in the day when he was part of the school's gang, but his punches were still packed. That punch had been strong, and it had hurt like hell. It had broken Tobirama's nose.

The funny thing is, he can't even remember what the topic they had been arguing about had been. Maybe it had been something silly? Or maybe it hadn't. He can't remember. But he can still remember Hashirama's disappointed look. How he had told him to go back to home and fix things with Madara. It had been up to Mito to fix up Tobirama's nose, before he had gone back to home with his tail between his legs. And Madara had been there, like always. The house had smelled lovely. The apology had been elaborate as Madara had bought him all nice things. The dinner had been amazing. The sex had been mind-blowing, and they had forgotten the argument and moved on until the next argument. That time it had been Tobirama's turn to apologize and Madara's to get fixed by Mito.

The white-haired man could still remember that day when Mito had told him she had gone to first aid course. She had told him she had wanted to go there just for fun. But he knew she had been lying. No one would go into a such course that you had to pay, unless you wanted a career from that line of work or you knew people who needed fixing. But he had been grateful over this fact, since going to the hospital had been humiliating. The very first time they had physically hurt each other they had had to go hospital to get fixed and answer many awkward questions. Hard ones. Painful ones. But Tobirama knows they had to ask those, since it was obvious, they had been victims of family violence. What the medics didn't know, though, it was they both hurt each other but always made up. And that's the thing - the making up was amazing. It was thrilling, until the next fight. At times their fighting was just verbal, but that didn't make it any less bad. Yet even after that the making up was amazing.

It had to end, one way or another, and Tobirama wanted to end it in the most peaceful way. So, sucking in a breath, he filled the last moving box as Kakashi had already filled rest of them. His dark eyes were watching Tobirama, measuring and trying to decide what to do next. He couldn't blame him. After all it would usually be now when Tobirama would back down and quit it. When they would undo all moving boxes in hurry and Kakashi had to escape from the back door and across the finely cut yard.

Shaking his head Tobirama pushed himself past Kakashi and touched the door knob, just to notice it turning and opening.

His eyes met dark ones. A shaky breath escaped between lips. His mind screamed at him to tell just one more beautiful lie. Anything to make him stop and stay. Yet nothing came. Madara just stared at Tobirama quietly, not saying a word.

The frozen world started to move once again as Kakashi pushed past Tobirama and Madara and walked up to the car. Without thinking, Tobirama follows after Kakashi into the car. He sits down in the passenger's seat, feeling the numbness start take him slowly.

"Where to?" Kakashi asks him, his tone hushed, barely above a whisper, as if fearing his answer.

Tobirama knows once Hashirama hears about this, he will be disappointed. His whole family will be, but he has already made his decision. He can't back now down when he has gotten so far. If anything, _that_ would be pathetic. Yet the gnawing feeling from the pit of his stomach starts to take himself, so he pushes it violently down. No time to dwell too much into that. He has to get out, out, out.

"Anywhere except here," he answers, his words sounding a bit mechanical, but he doesn't care. Because when he starts care once again, he knows he will break, and it won't be pretty. Tobirama carefully places his indifferent mask on.

Once he has placed it upon his face, he allows himself to gaze toward the house that he once shared with Madara. A home which isn't his anymore. It feels _bittersweet_, as his gaze lingers upon the house. Something in that scene isn't quite right. He can't put his finger on it, until there is small yelp from Kakashi and then cursing. Turning his head, he sees Madara front of the car, looking like a madman.

The black-haired man's hair is sticking to every possible direction as if it had gotten its own life. His eyes are big and has this certain mad glint in those. One which Tobirama knows is dangerous.

Uchihas love too deeply and because of that, it can quickly escalate into a very toxic relationship. But Tobirama isn't any better, since his love toward that man is too toxic and because of that…

"Back up!" Tobirama shouts, making Kakashi glance at him. "Back up!"

Nodding his head quickly, the other man starts drive backwards, making Madara follow after them. It looks weird and bizarre as he stumbles and falls down to the ground. It feels almost surreal. He can't help but stare as Kakashi stops briefly with the car, before he drives past Madara. Yet Tobirama's eyes never leave Madara. He watches how the man slowly gets into sitting position, seemingly unharmed. A sigh escapes between his lips, yet he still can't turn his look away. He just _can't_.

So, he keeps looking until Madara turns into a small dot and disappears into the horizon as they drive away.

"Here," Kakashi says and only then Tobirama realizes his cheeks feel a bit wet. He hadn't realized he had been crying, until Kakashi offered his handkerchief. Yet he is. It's silent crying but crying, nonetheless. It feels both humiliating and gross as adult men aren't supposed to cry, unless you're Hashirama. With Hashirama it's fine, since he is ball of emotions. But with Tobirama it isn't. But he doesn't care yet at the same time he does. So shakily he accepts the handkerchief and lets a lie slip between his lips: "Dust got into my eyes. Allergies."

Kakashi merely hums to this, not in a judging or agreeing manner. It's enough to make Tobirama shed even more tears as despite knowing he did the right thing it still feels so wrong. It's the only option to rescue them both and that itself gives Tobirama strength.


End file.
